A couple nights back, I was having dinner with my friend Anna. Her kid sister Sara, who is five (there’s a significant age difference between them), ended up tagging along.
As Anna and I were talking about potential thesis projects, I could see Sara’s face melting in boredom. She was quite polite about it, but still, some topics just kill five year olds.
I thought it was time to put my six days worth of drawing experience to the test, so I asked Sara to tell me a story and told her I would draw it.
Now, asking an ambitious five year old to tell you a story is a strange task; everything just starts coming out in one long sentence and in no particular order, and you’re never quite sure when it’s over.
So while she was talking, I started sketching on the back of a placemat. I guess they were talking about caribou (or reindeer) in school that day or something. And yes, I’m perfectly well aware that “caribous” is not the proper pluralization of the term. It was her word, not mine (so was gazpacho actually).
After she finished, or least paused long enough for me to interject, I summed up the basic plot into two rhyming sentences and that was that. After we got back from the restaurant, I made copies of the art and brought them home and colorized it.
All things considered, this was one of the most fun comics to draw that I’ve done so far.
I actually thought it was one of your best yet. It was very Peanuts-esque in it's style of humor, and could have run in a major papers comic page. It's the sort of humor that while not particularly brilliant has a wide audience. The art was good, and the whole thing came together nicely.
I'm going to say this all in a rush, so apologies if it comes out blunt! When you have the words and pictures doing the same thing, I'd recommend losing either one. You have the caribous talking, but then convey the same information with the rhyme... In this case I'd say you could get away with just the rhyme, have the caribous mute, and the whole thing would be funnier.
Also, I think you could have the first panel as a mid-shot (that's from the waist up) and actually have the snacks visible, like on a table the caribous are sitting at. Then the second panel will be more of a surprise when you pull out and see he's wearing slacks! I think you've got a good sense of what to put into the cartoon, how to frame the shot etc. But just as important is what to leave out. Keep it up!
Actually I think this was one of your funniest cartoons (along with the "cat buisness plan" followed up with the guy who forwards all the emails) the rhyming makes it even better I agree that showing them sitting eating snacks would be a better first frame but shit, I wouldn't have thought of it either. I hope you start this project up again even if it is January, or at least link me to your latest monthly project.
These thigs are great, you totally have something in this concept that in genius.
8 Comments:
A couple nights back, I was having dinner with my friend Anna. Her kid sister Sara, who is five (there’s a significant age difference between them), ended up tagging along.
As Anna and I were talking about potential thesis projects, I could see Sara’s face melting in boredom. She was quite polite about it, but still, some topics just kill five year olds.
I thought it was time to put my six days worth of drawing experience to the test, so I asked Sara to tell me a story and told her I would draw it.
Now, asking an ambitious five year old to tell you a story is a strange task; everything just starts coming out in one long sentence and in no particular order, and you’re never quite sure when it’s over.
So while she was talking, I started sketching on the back of a placemat. I guess they were talking about caribou (or reindeer) in school that day or something. And yes, I’m perfectly well aware that “caribous” is not the proper pluralization of the term. It was her word, not mine (so was gazpacho actually).
After she finished, or least paused long enough for me to interject, I summed up the basic plot into two rhyming sentences and that was that. After we got back from the restaurant, I made copies of the art and brought them home and colorized it.
All things considered, this was one of the most fun comics to draw that I’ve done so far.
Not so funny as some of the others you did so far, but your drawings are clearly improving.
Keep it up!
I actually thought it was one of your best yet. It was very Peanuts-esque in it's style of humor, and could have run in a major papers comic page. It's the sort of humor that while not particularly brilliant has a wide audience. The art was good, and the whole thing came together nicely.
Hah! I like this one!
I'm going to say this all in a rush, so apologies if it comes out blunt! When you have the words and pictures doing the same thing, I'd recommend losing either one. You have the caribous talking, but then convey the same information with the rhyme... In this case I'd say you could get away with just the rhyme, have the caribous mute, and the whole thing would be funnier.
Also, I think you could have the first panel as a mid-shot (that's from the waist up) and actually have the snacks visible, like on a table the caribous are sitting at. Then the second panel will be more of a surprise when you pull out and see he's wearing slacks!
I think you've got a good sense of what to put into the cartoon, how to frame the shot etc. But just as important is what to leave out.
Keep it up!
Reminds me of the "my kid drew this" cartoons that Bill Keane of Family Circus does. Good job, both of you!
Actually I think this was one of your funniest cartoons (along with the "cat buisness plan" followed up with the guy who forwards all the emails) the rhyming makes it even better I agree that showing them sitting eating snacks would be a better first frame but shit, I wouldn't have thought of it either. I hope you start this project up again even if it is January, or at least link me to your latest monthly project.
These thigs are great, you totally have something in this concept that in genius.
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